


Where did the Party Go?

by Ninja_Librarian



Series: Voltron Whump Week 2017 [6]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Caretaker Princess and Coran, Day 6: Poison, Food Poisoning, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, No Season 3 Spoilers, Sick Paladins, Voltron Whump Week, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-16 22:24:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11838222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ninja_Librarian/pseuds/Ninja_Librarian
Summary: Whoa, where did the party go?We're ending it on the phoneI'm not gonna go home aloneWhoa, where did the party go?Day 6: PoisonFun fact: Alteans can't get food poisoning. Not-so-fun-fact: Humans can, even in space...





	Where did the Party Go?

Allura collapsed onto the couch beside Coran, who was equally exhausted as she was. The mice all flopped over on the cushions, already asleep.

“Look at them,” Coran said in a low voice, staring at the five Paladins, all curled up on the couch, finally asleep. “They’re like angels when they’re asleep.”

“And devils when they’re awake,” Allura grumbled. “Coran, whenever I start talking about wanting children of my own, remind me of this day.”

“I most certainly will,” Coran said with a solemn nod.

Allura slumped against Coran.

“Think it’s safe to get a moment’s rest?” She asked.

“I think it’s now or never, Princess.” Coran said.

Allura yawned and closed her eyes.

Who would have thought attending a party would have led to this?

*

Breakfast had been going as usual; they had left the planet that they had just freed only an hour before, and everyone was talking about the day ahead.

Then Pidge froze suddenly in their chair. Then, they clamped a hand over their mouth and started running out of the dining room towards the nearby kitchen, and there was the sound of gagging and retching in the distance.

“I’ve got it,” Shiro said, getting up from the table full of concerned Paladins and Alteans. Shiro went into the kitchen to see Pidge hanging their head over the kitchen sink. He stepped over to Pidge’s side, gently patting them on the back. “Pidge, are you okay? Anything hurt?”

“My stomach…” Pidge groaned, wincing as they stood upright, pressing one hand to their belly. “Not period cramps, and stop looking worried, Shiro, it’s not my appendix either, I had appendicitis when I was, like, ten.”

“You barely touched your breakfast, are you still full from last night?” Shiro asked, getting Pidge a glass of water. Pidge gratefully accepted it, took a swig, then spat the water into the sink along with the partially digested pieces of their dinner and breakfast.

“No, didn’t overeat last night.” Pidge said. “Maybe it was that stupid wine. It tasted worse than nunville… But I didn’t drink much of that.”

“Maybe something just upset your stomach,” Shiro said, gently putting an arm around Pidge’s shoulders. “Come on, let’s get you to the infirmary for some space Pepto Bismal.”

They had just gotten to the doorway when Lance rushed past, his own hand over his mouth. This time, everyone had gotten up from the table.

A few minutes later, Hunk and Keith carefully extracted Lance out of his bathroom, where he had also thrown up, arms around his stomach, face pale.

“Ugh, I feel like crap…” He groaned.

“Ugh, I feel ya,” Pidge said, hand still on their stomach.

“Okay, both of you to the infirmary, now,” Shiro said, frowning. “If this is the beginning of a stomach virus, we’ve got to get it addressed as soon as we can.”

“We’ll also need to inform the Gestunamolins if there is a chance that they could be infected as well,” Allura added.

Pidge and Lance sat side by side on the exam table, looking exhausted and ill, each with a bucket in their lap, while Coran ran a blood sample.

“You two look horrible,” Hunk said observantly as he hovered around the unamused Green and Blue Paladins.

“Gee, Hunk, thanks,” Pidge said sarcastically before throwing up into the bucket in their lap, groaning when they were done.

“Hunk, don’t get too close,” Shiro said. “We don’t know if we’ve been exposed yet and we should try to avoid being exposed to this bug.”

“Hunk’s right, though,” Keith said, frowning as he studied Lance’s face, earning him a glare from Lance. “They’re both sweating. Is one of the symptoms of a stomach bug sweating?”

“I’m always sweaty,” Pidge said.

“But Lance isn’t,” Keith pointed out. His frown deepened and he stretched a finger out towards Lance’s face. “Your eyes look swollen…”

Before Keith could touch Lance, the Blue Paladin smacked Keith’s hand away with a growl. “Watch it or I’ll puke on you.” He warned.

“Wait,” Hunk said, turning to look over his shoulder, eyes wide. “Shoot… Uh, hang on.”

Hunk grabbed an analyzing strip and quickly got a sample from Pidge’s bucket.

“What’s wrong?” Pidge asked in a small groan.

“Keith’s right, sweating and swollen eyes aren’t a symptom of the stomach flu,” Hunk said, putting the sample in the analyzer. “But if this is what I think it is… We’re still a bit screwed.”

A few ticks later, a detailed list appeared of everything that had formerly been in Pidge’s stomach.

Shiro and Hunk both winced as something appeared on the list under ‘S’.

“Oh no.” Hunk said. “The alien chicken at the party… Of course…”

“What is it?” Keith asked.

“Salmonella.” Shiro said despondently. “Great…”

“It is great,” Coran said. “That particular strain of bacterium aids in gastrointestinal health in many species.”

“Yeah, but for humans it’s kind of toxic.” Hunk said.

“Wait, are you saying that we—?” Lance started to say, then cut himself off to puke into his bucket.

“Have food poisoning, yes.” Shiro said with a sigh.

Suddenly, Keith straightened, hand on his stomach, face pale and eyes wide.

“I’ve got to go,” Keith said, voice flat as he started heading for the infirmary door.

“Keith, we have another bucket!” Coran called after him, waving said bucket in the air.

“Not what I need!” Keith yelled back.

The other four humans winced in sympathy while Coran and Allura exchanged a confused glance.

“What all does being poisoned by food entail?” Coran asked.

“Do Alteans not get food poisoning?” Hunk asked. “Can you guys get regular poisoned?”

“Regular poisoned?” Pidge said with a scratchy voice, arching an eyebrow.

“Yeah, you know, intentionally poisoned and stuff.” Hunk said.

“There are a few types of fatal poison for Alteans, but they are rarely foodborne like this,” Allura explained. She frowned. “If you have all been poisoned, though, how has it only affected a few of you so far?”

“Oh, it’s probably going to hit me and Hunk pretty soon,” Shiro said, grimacing at the thought. “But Pidge is smaller, so they have a faster metabolism than the rest of us, so it’s no surprise they started showing symptoms first. Lance also has a pretty fast metabolism. And, uh, I guess Keith does, too.”

“Great,” Hunk said flatly. “So we’re the ticking time bombs of puke.”

“How can we treat this?” Coran asked.

“Hydration and rest, really,” Shiro said. “Unfortunately, our bodies are going to try to get rid of the toxins mostly by—” Shiro suddenly cut himself off, grimacing. Wordlessly, he snatched the bucket out of Coran’s hands and bent his head over it, and everyone winced at the sound of retching.

“By doing that.” Lance said with a vague gesture as Shiro slowly lifted his head, accepting a towel from Coran to wipe at his mouth.

“Am I the only one who finds it ironic that I wasn’t the first one to puke?” Hunk asked.

“Probably for the best, or else we wouldn’t have known something was wrong,” Coran said honestly. “Come on, let’s get you all back into more comfortable clothes and in a centralized location in order to better monitor you all…”

While Allura and Coran herded Shiro, Lance, and Pidge to their rooms to change clothes, Hunk checked on Keith. Hunk gently coaxed the blanket-wrapped, pajama-clad Red Paladin towards the lounge, where he was sat on the couch and was handed a bucket. Keith immediately flopped over, pulling the blanket over his head so that only his face was visible.

“Welcome to hell,” Lance said solemnly as he adjusted his own blankets.

Keith lazily looked around the room, mumbled “Needs more fire”, then rolled over onto his other side and curled up into a ball, quickly falling asleep.

The long haul began.

*

Hunk lasted a few more hours before the food poisoning took its toll, which Allura and Coran were grateful for, as he demonstrated how best to nurse the other ailing Paladins. Making them drink water, making sure everyone was comfortable, and helping them make trips to the bathroom. So when Hunk also started vomiting, the two Alteans and five mice thought they were fully prepared to handle five sick Paladins between the two of them.

They were wrong.

The Paladins kept Allura and Coran busy.

First Shiro was thirsty, then Pidge was feverish and needed something to cool them down, then Lance needed to go to the bathroom, then Hunk’s stomach was hurting so he couldn’t get comfortable, and then they realized that Keith had been sleeping for a long time and needed to be awakened to drink some water… This last one resulted in a very grumpy, non-compliant Keith who glared at everyone, even the mice.

By the time they got some water in Keith and got him back to sleep, Pidge was throwing up again, starting off a chain of needs to be met.

It was exhausting.

But finally—finally—the Paladins were all asleep.

For how long, no one knew.

But for now, the entire Castle slept and worked towards healing.

It would probably be a while before they attended another party, though.


End file.
